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This is my favourite Batman film. Why? Probably because it has Chris O'Donnell in it. Yes I am a secret Chris fan. Shame on me. He looks like the sort of wholesome young man even my father would approve of, then again....
Anyway the movie. Batman/Bruce Wayne is now played by the zombiefied Val Kilmer. Batman is obviously someone with deep mental health issues but Kilmer 'acts' (and I use the word lightly) the part like Batman is an unemotional zombie reading his lines off some invisible autocue. I can't stand Val Kilmer. Anyway the love interest in this film is Dr Chase Meridan (Nicole Kidman - 'To Die For') who vamps around as a Batman groupie with shampoo commercial perfect hair. Chase is hot for Batman even though she notes he dresses like a "Flying rodent.". And this woman is a shrink? I knew all that psychobabble was horsesh#t!
Kilmer sleepwalks throughout he movie. The villains this time are Two-Face (Tommy Lee Jones - 'The Fugitive', 'Under Siege') who has two lady friends: Sugar (Drew Barrymore - 'Scream') and Spice (Debi Mazar) but the film is stolen by The Riddler (Jim Carrey - 'Man on the Moon', 'The Truman Show') I remember watching his old TV show 'In Living Color' late at night and thinking that dude is funny. Anyway Two-Face is perpetually pissed off and Riddler is always twirling his cane, wearing more and more weird outfits and doing bizarre things to his hair. They have some nefarious plan. I'm not entirely sure what it is about but it involves putting a 'box' on peoples TV's and sucking all the knowledge out of their brains. RIDDLER AND TWO-FACE CREATED DIGITAL TV! I KNEW THAT STUFF WAS EVIL!
Meanwhile Chase is romancing Batman and Bruce Wayne and is so monumentally stupid (like Lois Lane) she fails to notice they are one and the same. Anyway while visiting the circus they get involved in one of Two-Face's plots which leads to the deaths of Dick Grayson's (Chris O'Donnell) family. Circus' are evil cos they have clowns in them, any place that accepts clowns as family entertainment has to be evil.
Bruce feels all guilty and moves Dick in with him. And social services do nothing? Dick doesn't want that 'til Bruce shows him his vast collection of motorbikes. The subtext in their scenes is unbelievable.
Dick soon cops on about Bruce being Batman. So what does he do? He takes the batcar for a joyride to pick up chicks. Batman takes him home for a good talking to. They have a tiff. Dick yells "Screw you!" Dick wants to be Batman's partner. That is the non-subtle subtext hammer whacking us on the head. Batman doesn't want that. Dick pouts.
Riddler and Two-Face also cop onto to Bruce being Batman and kidnap Chase. Batman decides to save her. So Dick shows up in his fetish rubber outfit ......thank you God for giving us freeze-frame........ and announces himself as Robin. After eyeing Robin up and down, Batman accepts Robin as his partner. (Whack! Whack! Goes the hammer of unsubtle subtext) He and Batman shake hands. They head off to bad guy HQ. Where Robin is inept and gets himself captured. Batman confronts Riddler and Two-Face and has to decide who he really loves: Chase or Robin.......
This film is fun! Fun and funny and great to watch. The fact they followed this up with the hideous 'Batman and Robin' is unforgivable.
P-Con VI March 27th/28th/29th 2009
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